


She needed to be Normal

by small_galaxy_child



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Abuse, F/F, F/M, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Sexual Abuse, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-16 14:28:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9276095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/small_galaxy_child/pseuds/small_galaxy_child
Summary: Mila Babicheva wasn't like that. She was normal.





	

It was a disgustingly warm feeling. 

The warmth twisted into knots, making her body feel as if it was a furnace filled with fire. 

Fire that she couldn't extinguish no matter how hard she tried.

Mila Babicheva was in love with Sara Crispino.

She was aware of every single looks towards her, often craving it. It was a pleasant surprise whenever they made eye contact. Yet, it always left a bitter taste.

She grew up in a country that did not tolerate that kind of behavior. She was silently groomed to believe only men and women could be a true couple. 

It was a shock to her when her friends Victor and Yuuri came out on public television. The kiss they had shared together embarrassed her and made her uncomfortable. 

The knots had made their way back, silent whispers of hatred building in her mind. She didn't want to hate them though, but the tangled knots threatened to snap.

Words of their engagement soon came out and Mila had been surprised. They could get engaged? A small thought burst into her head. Maybe it wasn't bad for two men to be together. 

It took a while before she accepted the idea of two men together. Mila had originally denied throwing flower petals at their wedding when they had asked, still feeling queasy about the entire thing.

As she spent time at the rink with them, however, she began to see the love between them. The small thought returned growing larger. Ultimately, the last time they asked her she accepted.

She had even been happy to throw the flowers at their wedding along with some of the other girls.

That didn't mean the thoughts had stopped. Every single time she saw Sara Crispino it was like she was being burned alive. She could only equate it to being a witch on the stake. 

She often caught herself thinking about the way Sara looked at her, the way her hand lingered for a few extra seconds than needed.... It made her have nightmares at night which often ended up with her throwing up her measly dinner.

She wasn't like that. She couldn't be like that. It was only okay for two men, she reasoned. Two women was a completely different thing, it was wrong. 

Every time she caught herself lingering on Sara, she pinched herself. She pinched herself until small bruises littered her forearms. As she looked at dark blue spots spotted across her arms, she knew it needed to stop.

The next guy who asked her out, she accepted without hesitation. She hadn't heard about him before but he was another figure skater. Geoff Simmons from Canada. He wasn't that good at skating but she didn't mind. 

They went out on dates and Mila often chastised herself mentally for not feeling anything or progressing the relationship. He would kiss her and attempt something more. She'd push away, afraid and unwanting. 

Eventually she convinced herself that maybe the feelings would go away with sex. On the night of their two month anniversary she lost her virginity to him. 

Mila hadn't enjoyed it at all, forcing herself to fake every little ounce of pleasure. It had hurt when he entered her and she had ended up bleeding. He had said it was normal and she decided to listen. 

She desperately needed to be normal.

Eventually he got more physical. Every time they met he insisted on kissing or another sexual activity. Mila didn't want him to leave so she complied. 

She knew what he was doing was wrong. However her need for what she thought was normal overrode her common sense.

Sara seemed to notice something wrong with Mila, as she texted her constantly. Mila tried to only reply when necessary, fire licking the inside of her stomach.

On the night of their fourth anniversary he wanted to have sex without a condom. Mila refused, knowing of the high risk of pregnancy and unknown sexual diseases. He pushed and pushed at her. He squeezed at her arms, crushing her chest with them until she agreed.

She had never felt so dirty. Yet, she still couldn't leave. Even after he was finished and tears were rolling thickly down her face as a warm slick ran out of her.

After that night, every time she got a text from Sara she felt the urge to scream. She wanted to scream, cry, kick her legs. Most of all she wanted Sara to comfort her. She wanted Sara to save her in some sick way.

About a week after the incident, Geoff came to Mila's house. He had a small paper bag crumpled in his hand and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He thrusted the bag at Mila, walking past her to sit on the couch and watch TV. 

She opened the bag to see pregnancy tests and wretched a little bit in her mouth. 

"Go ahead and take those so I can figure out a plan." He said, taking a drag from his cigarette and ignoring Mila's sickened expression. When she didn't move, he looked back up at her annoyed.

"Well? I didn't buy them for nothing. Go." He waved his hand at her before switching the channel to sports.

Fearfully, she did as told.

The news that she was pregnant spread like wild fire. Apparently Geoff had posted it online, boasting about knocking up his famous girlfriend. Her phone had blown up. Yuri interrogating her, Yuuri and Victor giving their support, and everyone else congratulating both her and Geoff.

Sara's text was the last one she read.

FROM: Sara Crispino  
TO: Mila Babicheva (YOU)

SUBJECT: None

MESSAGE: Are you alright?

Those three words broke her. 

She knew it was selfish. She knew it was wrong. 

She texted Sara, asking when they could meet next. They arranged a meeting for the next week, in which Sara would fly to Russia to see Mila. Mila told her it was urgent.

She kept it a secret from Geoff, fearful of him getting rough. He never liked her going out without him and she needed to be alone with Sara.

The week leading up to Sara's visit was torture. Geoff made Mila video chat with his family whenever she wasn't busy. She felt bad every time she saw them as they weren't bad.

Mr. and Mrs. Simmons blabbed about how excited they were for a grandchild while Geoff's little sister Julie lamented that at sixteen she was too young to be an aunt. Mila couldn't help but silently agree. At nineteen, Mila was too young to be a mom.

By the time Sara was supposed to arrive, Mila was beginning to think about backing out of her plan. She shook her head though and reminded herself she had to do it. 

It wasn't just her trying to be normal anymore. It wasn't just her anymore.

She met Sara at the airport, bringing her to the hotel she booked. Sara didn't question why Mila booked a hotel room or why they weren't going back to her house.

Mila sat on the small bed, trying to steady her breathing and build back her confidence. Sara waited patiently, asking if she could rub Mila's back. When Mila nodded, she did so gently. Her touch spread warmth throughout Mila.

Mila burst out crying and Sara gently pulled her close as to not scare her. Mila began to describe everything. Her original feelings about Victor and Yuuri, Her reason for ignoring her, Why she was with Geoff, and her real relationship with Geoff. 

Everything poured out like a broken faucet which she couldn't shut off even if she tried.

She explained how it was unnatural, how she was an awful human for not feeling anything. 

Sara held her close and only spoke when Mila was finally done.

"Come be with me." She said softly. Mila turned her head to look at Sara with a tear streaked face.

"Even if you don't want to or aren't ready to enter a romantic relationship with me, you need to get out of there. Geoff is bad for you Mila." She gently cupped Mila's face, thumbs following the paths of her tears.

Despite the whispers to say no, Mila simply nodded.

That night Mila left Sara in the hotel while she went home for the last time. While Geoff sat in the living room as usual, she packed her bags. She hid them in the unused Guest Room, neatly tucked under the bed. Sara texted her that they were leaving at Seven in the morning. 

Mila knew she would have to break up with Geoff before she left. She made her plan, carefully thinking.

The next morning she woke up at Four, and pulled her two luggage bags to the door. At five she was supposed to wake Geoff up and tell him that she was leaving but her throat closed up when she thought about it. So instead she quickly sprawled out a goodbye and good riddance letter.  
She caught a taxi and made her way to the hotel, texting Sara that she was on her way.

They managed to make it to the airport at around Six before Mila's phone begin to blow up. Geoff was calling her and Mila began to panic.

She quickly turned her phone off and ignored it. However, it had apparently been on long enough for him to get her location as he suddenly was there.

He began screaming and yelling, acting like a complete child. He began to grab for Mila and Sara slapped his hands away. Geoff turned his attention towards Sara and accused her of lying to Mila. Attempting to convert her or something of the like.

Mila could take him yelling at her but not at Sara. She reeled back her fist and punched him as hard as she could in the back of his head. 

While he was distracted, she grabbed Sara's hand and ran towards their gate. They ignored his screams and Mila felt satisfied with the stinging pain in the knuckles.

It took a while for Mila to feel comfortable, arriving suddenly in Italy. Being alone in a strange house while pregnant was stressful. Sara made it as comforting as she could though.

As time went on, Mila began to appreciate the shared glances and initiated some longer than needed touches. Sara never pushed her, going at Mila's pace.

Their first kiss was on the veranda while the moonlight shone over them, Sara gently rubbing Mila's growing tummy.

Mila eventually informed Geoff's family on the matter, wanting them to know. Apparently after Geoff's fit at the airport he had stopped talking to them. Mila wasn't sure why but couldn't bring herself to care.

She informed them that while the baby would not be getting their last name, they would still be able to visit and see it. They thanked her, obviously worried about not being able to see their only grandchild.

Valentina Sara Babicheva was born in Italy on January 18th to two adoring Mothers who knew that they both loved each other through whatever the future had to offer them.


End file.
